janersm: sexting-inchurch: beautilation: banasmagiccastle: sarcasminc: arigoato: funny text posts arent my Puns like that could get you in give it a Yeah I think the joke might be falling This would probably be a lot funnier if I could read sheet music It’s no one else’s fault that you aren’t that
suojure: malijuanastyles: i was sitting in the bathroom today when like 5 girls walked in and i stopped pooping right away cause i didn’t want them to hear me but then i thought why is taking a shit so bastardized today like why cant i poop in peace in the privacy of my own stall without caring if people listen to the flop flop plop plop sploosh sploosh like damn just sing along to the ploop...
friendlyangryfeminist: the brilliant thing about being a woman is that I’m punished for both trusting and distrusting men! I should magically know which man is going to harm me by having a brief conversation with him. if I trust Bad Men, then, well. I should’ve known. if I don’t trust Nice Men though, I’m an utter bitch who deserves violence. don’t I know most men are good people?
lolzpicx: last week on hell’s kitchen this week on hell’s kitchen next week on hell’s kitchen
Guy: What do girls do at sleepovers?
Me: Pass the Bechdel test.
silencearticulated: How to treat someone when they’re hella thirsty
benjenstark: SANSA, ARYA, RICKON, AND BRAN HAVEN’T SEEN THEIR MOTHER SINCE THE BEGINNING OF GAME OF THRONES HAPPY MOTHERS’ DAY
twofingerswhiskey: i wish that there was a service where if one of your online friends was in distress, you could hit a button and deliver a box instantly to them, with a comfy blanket, some favourite DVD’s, a good book, some encouraging messages, and a teddy bear inside.
sigoynerblod: OH MY GOD BABY WEASELS THEYRE SO CUTE AND TINY WHAT THE HECK
Yesterday I was meeting my boyfriend at work, and outside his store there were all these dead bees on the ground with one bee buzzing around overhead. I could only surmise that he was the winner of The Honey Games.
kat-soup: sodamnrelatable: I bet Spiderman left New York City for a day trip and when he came back, he saw the catastrophic aftermath of The Avengers and he was like “I WAS GONE FOR ONE DAY. ONE DAY.” Lmao
tumbledore-: i-choose-fit: fightblr: flaming-scrotum: muggleland: the ceo of abercrombie and fitch has a lot of nerve saying that ugly people shouldn’t wear his clothes when he looks like an albino orc from the lord of the rings fashion Now is the time to reblog this. I’ve been awaiting this picture. Hahaha I can’t help it. The irony. I think the orc looks cuter.
My daughter: *looking at tumblr* Are there feels on this?
Me: You have NO IDEA.
Lettuce in a sandwich Lettuce on a burger Lettuce
Lady Olenna: look everyone's a little bit gay
Tywin: no they fucking aren't
Lady Olenna: well maybe not at Incesterly Rock they're not
fourleafedcolfer: i would like to take a moment to thank nani pelekai for being one of the first disney women to ever look like an actual human being